Well the truth is I can never love the regular jack in the box tacos. I only have love for the monster taco. And the monster taco is gone. Not the temporarily type of gone. The gone for good gone. And so a long love affair with yours truly and the monster taco has ended. A love affair that began some 25 years ago when I was a young lad whose knowledge of what a taco was reached about as far as the jack in the box monster taco(then called the super taco) would take me. And it took me far. From the picnic blankets at Douglass park in Santa Monica as a young boy to the kitchen table of a beer fueled twenty-something. The monster taco was my homeboy.
Don't get me wrong. This taco is about as authentic as a bag of fritos dipped in chile con carne. The oddly long somewhat stale corn shell, the mystery beef, the slice of American cheese, the picante sauce that would settle in the bottom of the wrapper with lettuce droppings. One was aweseome, two less awesome, three disgusting.
I was at my local Jack in the Box the day after the word came down and asked the girl behind the counter what the reaction was from customers.
"They cuss at me " she said. "One guy...he just started yelling" she continued.
The people were angry. I stood to the side as one by one customers attempted to order the monster taco and one by one their hopes and dreams were crushed with the words "we don't offer the monster taco anymore." The look on their face was shock, dismay, anger; think red sox fans watching that slow roller going through Buckner's legs, think Sacramento Kings fans after Robert Horry's bomb hits at the buzzer. Now quadruple it times infinity. This isn't a sports game. It's the monster frickin taco.
The next day I got a call from a friend in Redondo beach.
"The Jack in the box here has'em"
"Not for long, they're dumping inventory" I said.
"fuck"
Maybe it was all a mistake. Maybe it was part of some crazy narrative Jack was up to. I had to go to the source. I had to ask Jack. Ok I never got a hold of Jack. But Brian Luscomb the DVP of Corporate Communications agreed to answer my questions.
I got down to the nitty gritty.
How come the decision was made to discontinue the monster taco?
We offer a lot of variety at Jack in the Box, and as we add new products (like our new mini buffalo ranch chicken sandwiches and mini sirloin burgers) we need to make room on our menu. That means removing products that just don't have the sales volume necessary to keep them on the menu.
What has been the reaction from customers regarding the monster taco being discontinued?
To you and other Monster Taco fans -- and we've heard from quite a few of you -- we apologize for having to remove a favorite. Whenever we delete a menu item, we usually hear for those guests who regularly order it. The disappointment expressed by our Monster Taco fans was no different. We hope you'll find something else on the menu to appease your appetite, like maybe our regular tacos!
Are there any plans to bring back the monster taco?
There are no plans for the Monster Taco to return to our menu. But we do listen to our guests. And we have brought back products that previously weren't big sellers but now are -- like our teriyaki bowls. Thanks for taking the time to write about this.
Well it was time to accept the fact and move on. We had a good run, the monster taco and I but nothing lasts forever. Wait..did he say they have brought back products before? So it's possible the monster taco will be back? Yes! I knew it wasn't the end. I knew it. I knew it. Woohoo!
Now if I could just get that mini sirloin burgers song out of my head. |
